Chapter 8: A New Roof

From Amazing Journey, Amazing Grace

Sometimes bad things happen.  Sometimes God allows us to experience difficulties to test and strengthen our faith. One of those faith-strengthening experiences happened to me one Saturday afternoon in February, 1994.  I had just stretched out on the living room sofa to relax for a minute.  Looking up I discovered the tell-tale dirty ring on the ceiling--a ring  that could mean only one thing.  My roof had sprung a leak!  In rainy Seattle, that was not a problem to ignore!  

Roof repairs, car repairs, yard and garden maintenance—all those chores had been my ex-husband’s domain.  Unfortunately, I hadn’t bothered to learn about those things, preferring to leave them all to him.  But now I was a single mom and I could no longer ignore those 'manly' tasks.  Now everything--both inside and outside the house--was my sole responsibility.  And now I had a major problem that needed immediate attention.  

What should I do?  Climb up a ladder and crawl around my roof hunting for the leak? And if I managed to find it, then what?  Go buy some tar and smear it over the offending spot?  Maybe I could spread a plastic tarp over the general area.  But how could I secure it from the wind? Wouldn't a bunch of nail holes just make more leaks?  I am not fond of heights and my roof is two stories tall.  Just thinking about going up there makes me dizzy!  So it was easy to nix both of those less-than-desirable solutons.  "Maybe I could pray for endless sunshine," I wistfully mused.   "But in rainy Seattle?  Not a chance!"

However, I remembered how God had promised to be my 'Creator-Husband.'  My protector, my provider, my comforter and my problem solver.   So solving leaky roofs was His job.  Therefore I just needed to exercise faith and trust Him for the answer, and that's exactly what I did.

The next morning I decided to go to church early and attend the adult Sunday School class before the regular church service began.  There were about 30 people in class that morning and visitors were given the chance to introduce themselves.  I am shy by nature, so I just gave my name and said I had homestay students living with me.  

After class one of the men came over and introduced himself to me.  His name was George; his wife’s name was Karen. He owned an auto-repair shop.  Then he asked me a question that seemed so out of context that it gave me goose-bumps!   George’s exact question was: “So, how is the roof on your house?”  

Now if George had asked how my car was running, I wouldn't have been so surprised.  But how likely was it for him, or anyone else for that matter, to ask a first-time visitor about the roof on their house?  The odds of that happening must be at least one in a million and that’s why I got goose-bumps.  I knew immediately this was a ‘God thing!’  So, I answered truthfully.  “My roof is leaking!” 

“It is?  Well, then let me introduce you to our Sunday School teacher, Dee-Jay.  He owns his own construction business and has put roofs on many homes,” George stated.   Obviously God was orchestrating the solution to my problem.

Dee-Jay came over the next day and while walking around the roof, he found spongy spots--sure signs of rotting wood.  My roof definitely had issues.  I was going to need a new one.  But how could I afford it?  Within the week Dee-Jay brought his crew to tear off the old roof, replace the sections of plywood that were rotting, and put on a new, 20-year roof.  He donated his time, and charged me only for the materials at his cost.

There have been many more miracles like this in my amazing journey and through them all I've learned that when we belong to God and live in obedience to Him, we can trust Him through good times and bad.  The good man does not escape all troubles--he has them too! But the Lord helps him in each and every one.  Psalms 34:19 (Living Bible) 

Another miracle happened the time I needed to buy groceries so I could feed my homestay students, but I only had $1.00 left to my name and pay day was one week away!

To be continued.

Chapter 6: Not Your Ordinary Love Story, Part One

From: Amazing Journey, Amazing Grace

Before I contine writing about my experiences as a homestay mama, I want to backtrack to June 8, 1985. My marriage was teetering on the brink of collapse. Marriage counseling was not working. I didn’t know what else to do or where to turn. As I crawled into bed that evening in June, I felt helpless and hopeless. I couldn’t sleep and just laid there staring at the ceiling. My feelings were a jumbled mess. My mind refused to think--refused to deal with the problem any longer. I was at the end of my rope.

Then I saw Jesus. His arms were outstretched toward me, palms up--inviting me to come. It wasn't a distinct image, yet it was intense and powerful just the same. I knew it was Him. I could feel His presence in the room--a presence that emanated the most amazing love I have ever felt. Even though this experience was most unusual, I felt no fear. The love I felt from Him was so peaceful, so comforting, so compelling that I wanted to surrender. But, there was a barrier between us!

My sins.

They had to be dealt with once and for all!

Some sins are obvious, but the worst kind lurk just beneath the surface of one’s spiritual heart. One by one as God brought my arrogance, critical spirit, self-righteousness and a host of other sins to the surface, I saw how ugly they were in His eyes. Especially my pride! That seemed to be the major problem in everything He was bringing before me!

I had grown up in a Christian home. I had been a relatively obedient child. I believed in God. I went to church every Sunday. I didn’t do those obviously ‘bad sins,’ which other people did. I tried to live and work ethically, honestly and in harmony with those around me! I gave to the poor and tried to help the less fortunate. Surely all of that counted for something!

But in God’s eyes my goodness counted for nothing. In front of Him the playing field is level. I was no better than the worst of sinners! Seeing myself as God saw me, reduced me to broken humbleness. All pretense was stripped away. There was no place to go but down on my knees, and so I slipped out from under the covers and knelt down beside the bed.

As God brought first one sin after another to the surface, I asked Him to forgive me and remove it from my heart. I don't know how long I was there on my knees, but it seemed like a very long time. When He was finished, I felt like my heart must surely resemble a block of Swiss cheese—full of holes from all the sins He’d carved out! “Oh, Lord,” I prayed. “Don’t leave me like this! Please fill all those holes with your love!”

And He did!

Oh, what a difference! I felt clean inside! I felt peace and joy. But most of all, I felt love--pure love--for the first time in my life! And, I had renewed hope because I knew I now had God's love and his Spirit living inside me. I desired reading the Bible like I'd never desired it before and so I read, and read, and read some more. I felt like a parched desert after a drenching rain! It was wonderful!

Now fast-forward to 1992. Even though I had fervently prayed for God to heal my marriage, my husband left. At that point I could have become bitter, thrown in the towel and turned my back on God. But, I chose to hang on. And, I’m so glad I did!

Tomorrow: Not Your Ordinary Love Story, Part Two.

Chapter 5: Two Valuable Lessons

From Amazing Journey, Amazing Grace

Not for one minute do I believe it was mere chance that brought those two ladies I didn't know to my door that Saturday afternoon. From the minute they asked if I'd be willing to host a Japanese student in my home, I knew it was a 'God thing.' But what puzzled me about that turn of events was this: If all along it had been God's plan for me to host international students, why hadn't He let my home be accepted by one of the university homestay programs where I'd applied? Why had He waited until I had all but given up on the idea of hosting and then brought strangers to my door to offer exactly that?

Looking back now I realize that God had been teaching me two valuable lessons.

Lesson One: It's not about me!
God didn't want me to rely on my own efforts and then pat myself on the back after every success. He wanted me to remember that He's in control; that everything I have--my house, my job, my health, even my homestay students--all are gifts from Him. Therefore, HE deserves the credit, HE deserves the praise, not me.

Lesson Two: Let go and let God!
Letting go means depending on God, not on myself. It means remaining calm about my circumstances, not panicking about my finances, not grasping for a solution, not running ahead of God's timetable. It means orderliness. It means learning to be patient while He works out the details. It means waiting for His timing.

I have trouble being patient. I don't like to wait. One of my dear friends knows this about me, but loves me anyway, and often reminds me of these Bible verses about God's plans and His timing:

“I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen.” Jeremiah 29:11-12 (Living Bible).

“But these things I plan won’t happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, do not despair, for these things will surely come to pass. Just be patient! They will not be overdue a single day!” Habakkuk 2:3 (Living Bible):

Just. Be. Patient. (Sigh)

I fail so often!

Two failures immediately come to mind, but before I write about them, I want to share a love story with you--although it's not your ordinary love story!

To be continued.

Chapter 3: On Being a Host Family

From Amazing Journey; Amazing Grace

Facing singleness after 25 years of marriage was scary. I had no idea where this strange, new adventure would lead me, but I knew God was with me and I clung to him for dear life!

Not long after my husband left, our son, Allen, came back home to live. We both had emotional wounds that needed to heal. It helped us to heal together.

The greater Seattle area is not noted for being a cheap place to live, and even though I was earning more at work and my son was contributing toward his expenses at home, it wasn’t quite enough.

One of my neighbors suggested becoming a host family for international students. I’d never heard of such a thing. “It’s not quite the same as exchange students,” he explained. “Homestay students pay to live with a host family while they attend school in the USA.” It sounded interesting. Allen liked the idea, too. I had an extra bedroom—why not give it a try?

I got busy and contacted the international student offices in Seattle’s three major universities. I was full of questions. Could a single mom qualify as a host family? What was the remuneration for hosting? How were students selected and matched to host families?

I learned that each school had a homestay coordinator who would visit my home, meet my son and me and learn more about each of us--did we do drugs? Or have a criminal record? We needed to “pass inspection” before becoming a host family. I wasn't worried.

I also learned that:
The student must have a private room with a window, bed, closet, chest of drawers, desk and a chair. They could share a bathroom with the family.

Check.

Food was to be provided for all 3 meals; the student could make his own breakfast and lunch, but the host family should make his dinner.

Check.

There should be a bus stop within a reasonable walking distance from the home.

Check.

The student could only make one transfer between buses.

Check.

The entire commute from home to school must be under an hour.

Uh-Oh!

Back in 1992, the buses from outside Seattle's city limits weren’t that accommodating. The entire commute from my home to each of the universities was easily an hour or more. "I'm sorry," each homestay coordinator said. "You live too far away." And they rejected my application! There I was--up against the proverbial brick wall!

“Oh God,” I prayed, “I thought hosting students was a good idea, but I guess not. So, I’ll wait for a word from you, but please hurry, because I’m running low on money, and quite frankly, I don’t know what to do.”

Just a simple, straightforward prayer, but God heard and answered in a most unusual way!

To be continued.

What is a Homestay Mama?

Robynn from Robynn's Ravings stopped by yesterday and wanted to know exactly what a Homestay Mama is. But before I answer her question, I just want to say thanks for stopping by, Robynn. I'm glad I met you via blog land which is almost as good as meeting you in person. I will be visiting you again--I like your humor--and I hope you will visit me again as well.
Now, to answer your question--

English is the trade language of the world and students from other countries have an advantage of finding an excellent job in their own country if they have studied English abroad or have earned a college degree from a university in an English speaking country such as the USA, Great Britain, Canada, Australia, etc.

America is a very popular destination for international students. Washington state is especially strong in the number of colleges that recruit and welcome international students. The greater Seattle area is home to many colleges/universities that have ESL (English as a Second Language) programs. Most international students have learned a little English in their home country, but find they need additional training in English in order to compete with native English college students when pursuing their undergraduate degrees here.

When these international students arrive, some choose to live in the college dorm, or a private apartment, but a large number prefer to live with an American family. These students are called 'homestay' students. The advantages of living with an American family are many. They learn English faster; they learn first hand about American culture; and, they develop friendships that may last a lifetime.

There are advantages for the host family as well. The family learns about the countries, cultures and religions of their students; they make lasting friendships; and, they get paid for hosting the students.

I chose the name 'Homestay Mama' because in a sense I become my homestay students' 'Mom' while they are here in America. Sometimes I even act as their guardian when they're under 18 years of age. I chose 'Home to the World' as my blog name because that is literally what my home has become--a home in America for students from all around the world--Kuwait, Saudi Arabia, United Arab Emirates, Oman, Qatar, Eretria, Turkey, Germany, Romania, Russia, South Korea, Japan and Indonesia.

I realize that not everyone can open their home to a stranger, especially a stranger from a different country, but I find it very rewarding. I am happiest when my home is full of young, energetic, international college-age students. I love talking with them. I love helping them with their English. I love learning about their countries, cultures, religions. I love tasting their foods and sometimes even learning how to cook their recipes. I love staying in touch with them after they have graduated, gone back to their countries, gotten jobs and started families of their own.

Why does being a homestay mama work for me? Because my God-given personality and gift of hospitality come tailor-made from our Creator, Himself! It's really quite awesome when you think about it!

Finding joy in the journey,

Love,

Homestay Mama

Chapter 2: Who'd Have Thought?

From Amazing Journey; Amazing Grace

My boss was very kind—he was like a father to me. He was well-known and well-liked by everyone. He had retired from teaching about seven years earlier, but at the request of the board of directors of a small, private foundation, he had become their executive director. Three years later, he hired me to be his administrative assistant and I felt privileged to be working for him. We were both part time employees and each of us worked 20 hours a week.

I had purposefully not said anything to him about the upheaval in my life. I had not told him I was looking for a full time position. So that morning in 1992, when I was sure I’d have to give up the job I loved, my boss laid down his pen, leaned back in his chair, turned to me and said, “You know, I’m supposed to be retired. My wife would really like me to be home more. Would you consider taking 10 of my hours at my rate of pay and work 30 hours per week so that I can cut back to 10 hours?”

What an incredible offer! As soon my boss asked, I knew immediately this was God’s answer to my prayer! My eyes filled with tears. They were tears of joy! I could keep the job I loved, still work part time and yet earn as much as the other full time job would have paid. I choked up and couldn’t talk. My boss looked at me in confusion. “I’m sorry,” he said. “Did I say something wrong?”

Getting my voice back, the words tumbled out as I explained how my husband had left me, how I hadn’t wanted to but, had been looking for a full time job, and how his offer was the answer to my prayer. A look of amazement spread over his face. “I am so sorry,” he said referring to my failed marriage. “I had no idea!”

Isn’t God amazing? Who’d have thought of a solution like that? Only God! He loves to make “all things work together for good to them that love Him, to them who are called according to His purpose” (Rom 8:28). He loves to pour out his grace on us at the least expected times in the least expected ways. He also loves to answer the desires of our heart. But He waits until we are ready to give up our own will and in humble faith, fully submit to His will. It is our faith in Him and our submission to His will that allows Him to bless us as he longs to do. What an awesome God!

But there’s more. This was only the beginning of my journey. God had even more plans up his sleeve, as I would soon find out!

To be continued.

Chapter 1: The Journey Begins

From Amazing Journey; Amazing Grace

I never intended my marriage to end like it did. But in 1992, there I was, single—whether I liked it or not. It was a title I did not enjoy. I avoided bringing attention to my status, quietly checking the box marked “Ms” only when I had to. I choked on the ‘D’ word. It sounded too much like ‘failure.’

I had always thought our marriage would last like our parents’ marriages. Both had celebrated their 50th wedding anniversaries just a few years earlier. Ours barely made it past 25. I would like to say it was my husband’s fault, but that wouldn’t be fair. After all, “it takes two to tango,” or not.

My first night alone in our bed was the worst. I felt so alone. I buried my head in my pillow and let it all out—my sorrow, my disappointment, my heartache—let it all out with gut-wrenching sobs. I finally fell asleep from emotional exhaustion.

The next morning I awoke feeling small and vulnerable. “Oh God,” I prayed, “It’s just you and me now, and I need your help very much.”

I began to worry. How would I pay for a double-mortgaged home? I only had a part time job. Obviously, I would need to work full time. But how could I give up a job I really loved? How could I give up working for the best boss I’d ever had? That prospect filled my soul with sadness. It brought fresh tears to my puffy eyes.

When our self-sufficiency is shaky at best, it is much easier to turn to God. I started every morning with prayer and a chapter from the Bible. In His tenderness and grace, God directed me to the Bible verses that held His answers to my prayers. It soon became food for my soul and I found great comfort in His spiritual nourishment. For example, when I started worrying too much, God gave me these verses:
Philippians 4:6, 7
"Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."

Learning to let go, to relax, to take my burdens to the Lord and leave them there, was not easy. It was literally a ‘two-steps-forward, one-step backward’ kind of faith.

Then the idea came to me. Maybe I could work two part time jobs. Yes, that must be the solution! So, I started looking at job postings in the classified ads. Nothing. Nothing with flexible hours. Nothing within close proximity to the job I loved.

In spite of all the verses of encouragement, discouragement set in. The facts were plain and simple. I needed a full time job and I soon found a position that looked promising. I made an appointment for that Thursday. But on Wednesday morning, sadness settled in. I prayed a simple, straight-from-my-heart prayer. “Oh, God, I really don’t want to give up my part-time job that I love so much, but if this full time position is your will, then I will do it.” And I meant it.

I had not said anything to my boss about my failed marriage. He was like a father to me and I didn’t want him to worry. I also didn’t want him to know about my pending job interview. Not yet! So that Wednesday morning, I put a smile on my face and went about my work as usual.

About mid-morning, my boss quietly laid down his pen, leaned back in his chair, turned to me and made a statement that left me in tears.

To be continued.

Introduction: Amazing Journey; Amazing Grace

Not in my wildest imaginations did I ever expect to become a host mother to international college students. I was married, mother to a grown son, college educated and working a part time job that I loved. My husband had a good job. We owned our own home. I loved my in-laws. But in 1992, it all imploded like a light bulb that burned out. What happened?

How did I get to where I am today? It’s been a long journey, full of bumps and bruises; but, also full of joy, and fulfillment. Along the way I learned a thing or two about myself—the good, the bad and the ugly. I also learned about the big, wide world out there—right in the comfort of my own home—and got paid while I was learning. Amazing!

The things that have happened these past sixteen years did not happen by coincidence. Only God could have orchestrated this amazing journey. Some of you have lived this journey with me. Some have heard me share bits and pieces. But now I am ready to share the complete journey with the hope that it will encourage you.

Tomorrow I will post chapter 1 of Amazing Journey; Amazing Grace.

Love,

Homestay Mama