Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Not Your Ordinary Love Story, Part Two

From: Amazing Journey, Amazing Grace

As the reality of singleness set in, I became acutely aware of how many things I was now responsible for. I needed to earn enough money to keep a roof over my head; I needed to keep that roof, and everything below it, clean, maintained and repaired; and, I needed to keep all the inhabitants under that roof well-fed and healthy. Wow! How could I ever manage all of these responsibilities as a single mom?! As a single homestay mom?! I needed superhuman strength--and wisdom, too.

One day I felt particularly overwhelmed by the enormity of my responsibility and my inability to get everything done. How could I keep up? I was sooo tired. All I could do was pray and wait for the answer. It came soon enough.

Have you ever read something that really resonated with you? That while you were reading, you just knew those words were meant for you? That while you were reading, the words were almost popping off the page at you?

Well, that’s what happened to me one morning as I sat reading my Bible. I had a strong sense that God was telling me to take particular notice of the words:
“Fear not; you will no longer live in shame. The shame of your youth and the sorrows of widowhood will be remembered no more, for your Creator will be your ‘husband. The LORD Almighty is his name! He is your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel, the God of all the earth. For the LORD has called you back from your grief—a young wife abandoned by her husband.” (Living Bible)

Wow! The message couldn’t have been plainer!

In the past God had repeatedly told me not to worry about anything. Now as I read and re-read those verses in Isaiah, it slowly dawned on me that here was the reason why! It was because HE would fill the role of a ‘husband’ in my life. HE would be my protector, my provider and my comforter. HE would make sure there was help when I needed it. I would not be doing everything alone! Once this realization sank in, I was in awe of how freeing is God's love.

First of all, His love frees me to be the real me that He created me to be. I no longer have to ‘walk on eggshells.’ With God I can just relax and be myself. When I pray to Him, I don’t fear he will reject what I'm feeling and saying. He will be patient with me. If I'm wrong, he will gently correct me.

Secondly, His love frees me to be the new me that He is helping me to become. Less insecure, less self-centered, less worried, more loving, more accepting, more patient, more tactful and definitely a lot calmer. Don't get me wrong. I'm no saint, and never will be this side of Heaven. But, at least I'm heading in the right direction.

From that day until the present, as I have looked for answers through daily Bible reading and prayer, God has never gone back on the promise to be my Creator-'husband.' Numerous times, help came in at just the right time for house cleaning, repairs, painting, etc. When I've needed extra money to pay for unexpected expenses, it has always come in--sometimes from the most unexpected sources. In future chapters I will write in more detail about specific incidences.

God has never left me, nor has he ever given up on me. He has always exercised patience and kindness toward me. He has never quit loving me. What an awesome God! I know this is not your ordinary love story, but, I hope it gives you a glimpse into why I love God with all my heart, my soul and my mind!

Now, sometimes God does allow times of testing. But when bad things happen I know He is allowing it for a reason, although that reason might not be clear for awhile. For example, one Saturday afternoon in February 1994, I was relaxing on the sofa when my eyes suddenly focused on a telltale “brown” ring on the ceiling above me. My heart sank. The roof over my head had sprung a leak!

To be continued.


  1. Sue, knowing you for as many years as I have, it is such a blessing to get to know this side of you. I feel like I am meeting a new friend.
    Love you.

  2. One of my biggest fears, is losing my husband.(Not that he would walk out on me,or anything like that. I worry about him being killed on the interstate or having a heart attack. He lives such a stressful life. I worry about him being on the highway so much, and working so hard.) I don't know what I would do without him.

    I so admire you, for standing on your own two feet, and starting a new life. I also admire your faith. Often mine needs a big ole booster shot!

    Can't wait to read more.

  3. Ahhhhh... what a wonderful glimpse into the life of my friend!

    Sad to say, I put my Bible away about 3 months ago and I haven't been able to find it since! (yes, I need to do some housecleaning!)
    But I still start out my day with God and it's such a comfort to me.


  4. Gramma2Many,
    We've known each other for over 10 years and yet we've never really had time, just the two of us, to sit down and share in a more meaningful way. Usually it's been a birthday party, or baby shower, or holiday celebration with a room full of kids and grandkids. Don't get me wrong. I love your family--energetic and busy as they are.

    Now that I'm retired, I should have lots of extra time on my hands, right? Hmmm, sure hasn't worked out that way, yet! But I promise, one of these days I'll make that hour-long drive up to your house and come see you! In the meantime, I'm glad you introduced me to Blogland! Reading each other's posts has sorta made up for the lack sharing time in the past. Maybe? a little?
    Love you, dear friend.

    Let's hope none of your fears happen to your husband and that you both 'grow old' together. I will keep BOTH of you in my prayers from now on.

    I surely don't want to give the impression I was able to stand on my own two feet from day one! God brought two wonderful women into my life back in 1985. Jacque and Barbara have cried with me, prayed for me and encouraged me down through the years. God knows we all need that 'human' touch!

    I try to keep my posts at a manageable length which means a lot of details get left out. But in the future, I'll try to share more about the hard times, too!

    It is amazing to me how two people on two different continents can become good friends entirely from reading each other's blogs!

    I do hope that one day we can meet in person! In the meantime, I will continue to enjoy your posts and I'll pray that your Bible shows up soon. That's a 'valuable book' that's gone missing!

    However, I can identify with you on this housecleaning bit. My bedroom got so bad, only aisles remained between my bed, my bathroom and my closet! I finally started clearing things out last weekend, but where did all that stuff end up? In my office downstairs! So would you call that cleaning? or just reshuffling the mess?! LOL

  5. What an incredibly scary time. I never worried about these things when I was younger and in the corporate world. But once I had children and became a SAHM, I felt incredibly vulnerable and that has never gone away. I don't spend time worrying as I did in the past but I have no idea if I could meet the challenge. You have my utmost respect and admiration for not only making it, but making it in a way that is beautiful and a blessing to so many. Enjoying your story. :)